Truth

Last night I had to have a hard conversation with someone I care a lot about. It was one of those conversations where I had three choices-- I could be honest and straightforward, try to sugar-coat the truth, or sweep truth under the rug and pretend like it wasn't there. Over the last six months I tried the later two approaches more often than I care to admit (which didn't get me anywhere but stuck), so I decided to try for the first approach-- being honest and straightforward.

It was messy. I spoke the truth, but he didn't want to hear it. Maybe I went too far, maybe I was too honest, and maybe I should have kept some of the truth to myself. But, I just laid it all out there as naked as a j-bird. After the fact (and even during the fact, for that matter), I felt bad for him--the issues at hand were not easy ones. At the same rate, I couldn't help but put myself in his shoes. If I were him, I'd want to know the truth, I'd want to know it all-- no matter how much it stunk to hear it, and I'd want to know it now. Regardless of my convictions and best intentions, the conversation ended with curt answers, slammed doors, and me standing at the window watching him pull away. Truth is messy.

On the other hand, being honest feels pretty damn good. Being surrounded by others who feel the same way is a gift and was a gift last night. After standing at the window for a second, letting the conversation soak in, I called up one of my best friends. I told her what happened, and before I knew it she was at the end of my driveway in her Soccer-Mom Yukon grooving out to some cheesy dance music that I could feel through the concrete as I walked toward her car. I had to smile. I had just left one conversation where truth wasn't very welcomed and was now jumping into a Yukon where truth is just the norm. Truth feels good.

At the end of the day, I don't regret embracing truth. Sure it was hard to be honest, and it was hard to watch someone I care for pull out of my life, but I had to do it. Truth is messy, but sometimes being messy is just the right thing to do.

P.S.

I just submitted this to NPR... After four years of assigning the This I Believe essay to five different classes, I finally submitted my own. Yee Haw! I don't know if anything will come of it, but it sure felt good to write. I really do encourage you to take Edward R. Murrow's This I Believe challenge.

The Edward R. Murrow Challenge

During my first year of teaching a friend/parent introduced me to the NPR radio show called "This I Believe." It originated from Edward R. Murrow in the 1950s as an attempt to unite the American public-- to help Americans see that we are all human and shouldn't let fear or differences drive us apart. Murrow initiated the show by asking Americans just one question: In 500 words or less, what do you believe to be true about life?

Wow! Talk about a loaded question. As a teacher, I saw this as a great opportunity for my Juniors and Seniors. Not only do I use it as a tool to talk about what a climate of fear can do to a group of people (as in the cold war, or even now for that matter), but it's a way to help kids really think about what they, not their parents, believe to be true. It's amazing what I get back from some of them and how close they let me get to their thoughts.

I'm a huge believer in practicing what I teach, but this assignment has me a little flustered. It's so hard to solidify what it is exactly that I believe. There are so many topics I could delve into like the importance of giving back, being human, forgiveness, empathy, making the most of each moment-- just to name a few. But how do I talk about those topics in just 500 words?? Now I fully understand why my 16-18-year-old students look like deer in head lights when I first present this assignment to them!

But, holding true to my pedagogy, I have decided to take Murrow's invitation as a personal challenge. After all, how can I ask my students to do something I haven't done myself? It might take me some time and require some space, but I'm going to do it. I think it's such a valuable exercise to think and then share what we believe. It helps us be human and helps us to recognize other humans-- something that is pretty rare in our society at the moment.

Wow, Murrow was smart! For that matter, whoever invented this whole blog thing is smart. I can't help but notice since I've started blogging how powerful it can be. I'm still amazed at its ability to unite perfect strangers just by allowing us to be human. There's important power in that. I just hope I can share that with my students and also continue to be a part of it myself.

Anybody else up for the Murrow challenge?? What do you believe to be true about life?