Looking Back...

It has been a year since the tornado leveled my hometown. It's hard to imagine. So much has happened since I got those frantic phone calls from my friends and family making sure everyone was okay. Looking back on it know, the whole thing was eerie and really scary. Oddly, even though we're on the upswing of things, today I feel just as obsessed as I did the day it happened. For the last five hours I've been sitting at my computer 1,000 miles away from home, gleaning any and all information I can glean as to how my hometown is remembering what was lost and celebrating what has been reconstructed. Today I don't feel helpless, like the days that followed immediately followed the tornado; Today I feel homesick wishing I were closer to those who understand what happened.

On the positive side, I can also look through the old articles, posts, and videos and remember just how lucky I am. I'm lucky no one in my family was hurt. I'm lucky my parents and brother are doing well. I'm lucky that I am from a hometown that doesn't give up. I'm lucky for modern technology that helps me feel as connected as possible on a day that I feel farther than 1,000 miles from home. For these things, I am grateful.

In my quest to stay connected, I've found some video I'd like to share on the progress of my little home town. I was so lucky that I even found a segment that showed my parent's new house. The last time I saw the house (at Christmas time) the basement was full of snow and the trusses had yet to be put up. Now, it's nearly finished despite the harsh winter Parkersburg had. The progress really inspiring. (P.S. It's the square house with the chimney and the rock on the corner of the lot).

So on today May 25, 2009, I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute to the 9 who died in the tornado, the folks who survived it, and all of the folks who were there to put the pieces back together.

Here's a second video that helps capture what went on in Parkersburg today....

Amazed

I didn't know what to expect when I saw my home town for the first time in six months after the tornado. The last time I had seen it (this June) I couldn't recognize streets, houses (there were none left), or anything really. In fact, I dreaded having to see it; it just hurt too much. But when my dad and I pulled over the hill above town on Christmas day, I was amazed.

In just under seven months my town went from being completely flattened and unrecognizable to almost normal. Over 300 homes were completely totaled but there are nearly 200 that are completely up or being constructed. If I didn't know what had happened on Memorial Day weekend, I wouldn't have known that Parkersburg had been hit. It just looks like a new subdivision right now with beautiful new homes and amazing new high school. There is still a long way to go in terms of construction, but I'm amazed at what I have seen so far.

The other interesting thing is that the spirit of my little home town hasn't changed a bit. People are still upbeat and positive. Sure the conversations now are all about the building process, but generally speaking it's as positive as it always has been, and these people lost everything.

It's amazing. I know the people in the rebuilding process, including my parents, don't feel like it's going very fast, but it really is. Consider Katrina... that happened nearly four years ago and there are still so many families without homes. This tornado hit my home town just last May and already a good chunk of the town is rebuilt. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

As my mom would say, it really is a miracle.

Needless to say it was extra special to be home for Christmas this year. All of my brothers made it and we all got together at my parents' temporary home. Amazingly enough it still felt like home, it still felt like Christmas, it still felt normal. This is a gift for which I'll forever be grateful.

Now if only my bags would surface... I was one of the many who got stuck in Chicago on Christmas Eve and my bags have still yet to surface... small potatoes, I know, but it really would be nice to have my underwear! :)

Merry Christmas! :)

The Art of Letting Go: Part III

(What was left of my parents' 2-story home after the EF five Tornado that hit this past May)

It's time. I think I can finally let this poem go. I wrote it as part of my letting-go process. I guess I've been kind of nervous to let it go because it helped me let go, but I'm ready.

"Blow Away"

The rust-colored bricks, its dark green siding, and the improved garage roof Dad put on.
The long, curved sidewalk, the wild flower beds, and the evergreens that had grown so tall.
The soft living room carpet, mom’s hand-made blankets, and those big East windows that let in the sun.
Grandma’s last quilt, Grandpa Doc’s pocket watch, and Great-Aunt Rofkins’ China buffet.
Our dinning room table, the print above the piano, the souvenir tiles mom had hung in a row.
My brothers’ boyhood toys, Mom’s Christmas pearls, and the skis Dad waxed with such care.
Mom’s wedding dress, the prom gown we both wore, and my first emerald ring.
Five years worth of my journals, four sets of baby pictures, and exotic trinkets from adventures abroad.
My favorite napping spot, my thinking place, and my refuge from the world.
All stripped away in just sixty seconds, never to be seen again.
I know it’s just stuff-- that our family made it;
I’m grateful for that everyday.
But, it still hurts to think
Of my childhood home and all that went with it,
And I hope that pain
Blows Away
Soon.

The Art of Letting Go Part II

...and what do you know?? When I let go, it felt like a giant weight was lifted from my heart and a gentle peace took its place; it's a sad peace, but it's peace nonetheless. I haven't had that feeling for a long time-- surely a testament that it was time. I feel like I'm one step closer to center and a one step closer to me.

P.S.

Thanks for the extra support, fellow bloggers and friends. You amaze me with your kind words, wisdom, and patience.

The art of letting go

Life has been a giant roller coaster lately. Yesterday was a really good day, and today started out fine but ended up taking a turn for the not-so-great. When I take a second to reflect on why today ended on such a different note, I can pretty much trace it back to one thing. For some reason I have a really hard time letting go.

I have a hard time letting go of battles that aren't worth fighting. I have a hard time letting go when I lose someone or something I hold dear. I have a hard time letting go when things won't go my way. I have a hard time letting go when I know it's time to let go, and a hard time letting go when I know the end is inevitable.

RRRRGGG!!! I feel like I've been forced to let go of a lot of things lately, more so than usual, and perhaps that's why I find myself on this crazy emotional roller coaster. The weird part is, I don't remember ever thinking I struggled with letting go. It almost feels like I woke up one day and "bam" it became an issue. But, maybe what really happened is that I woke up one day and opened my eyes to reality as an adult.

As I watch the people I respect most navigate through life, I've noticed that there is definitely an art to knowing when to hold on for dear life and knowing when to let go in order to embrace life. From my observations, it seems that the better one gets at deciphering when to say "when," the better off that person is.

"Lord, please grant me the wisdom to know when to hold on, when to let go, and the strength and grace to do both well."