Dear Negative Nancy...

Dear Self-

I would really like it if you could stop being such a Negative Nancy. I realize that it seems life is trying to bog you down-- the school slump/burn-out, still being sick for a really long time, the crappy Montana spring weather, missing spring break because you were sick for the ENTIRE week-- but seriously, snap out of it! Things could be so much worse!

You're no fun to be around! Where did the happy-go-lucky self go? You know, the one who always smiles, has a good laugh/snort, knows how to have fun, the creative person??? Can she come back please? Is life so bad that you can't turn that frown upside down? I'm worried that if you don't get this grumpiness under control, you'll chase away your friends and your most amazing gentleman friend-- that would be terrible!

Time to pull yourself out of this rut, Self. Ready? On three... One, two, three...

A step back...

My mom is the best. Every once in a while she'll send me a surprise package with some little treasure. It might be a new capaline shirt, a coupon for something I might need, a fuzzy pair of socks, warm winter mittens, or even a little note just to say "hi." But this time, I came home to find a really great treasure-- my baby pictures.

Some people might not think this is much to get excited about, but then again that "some" of people didn't have everything blow away in a tornado this spring. I am lucky I didn't lose a loved one, but of the things my family and I lost, one of the greatest losses was our personal photos. With time, though, some are trickling in, like the package my mom sent me the other day.

Apparently my aunt had saved some of those billfold-sized baby pictures from when my mom sent them out 26 years ago, and my aunt even took a few pictures herself. She gave them all to my mom, and now I have some of them. Needless to say, this package was priceless, and thank goodness it made the 1000 mile journey to Montana without incident! (Thank you Mr. Postman!)

Being able to look back at baby-me helps me appreciate all of the adventures and events that have happened over the course of my entire life. The pictures are the visual reminders of where I've been, what I was (even in my awkward junior high phases), and the people who were there along the way. Even if I would have lost the pictures for good, I still would have a history. But, the pictures are the visual reminder of that history; they are my porthole into the past reminding me of the little details that can only be captured by a snap shot. They help me remember and realize just how far I've come-- from my first smiles to my college graduation and everything in between and beyond. They remind me of my progress which is, of course, especially important on those miserable days when it feels like I'm sliding backwards instead of plowing ahead. And one day, I hope these pictures will help my kids see that I am not all that unlike them in looks or in experiences-- I too once had to learn how to smile, crawl, read, overcome adversity, grow, and be me.

So today's post is dedicated to my Aunt Linda and my Mom. Thank you for being you, for all the help you've offered me, and for giving me back a little chunk of my history. I am grateful.

My Palisade Falls Haiku

Adventure buddies--

a priceless commodity

on bright afternoons

when the sun looks down,
and we stomp through the deep snow

to the frozen falls.

The forest is still,

but the snow crunches and squeaks,

pushed down by our feet.

Our voices are mute
as we huff up the steep hill,
our breathing in sync.

There, we snap photos

recording our adventure,

capturing the scene.

The frozen water

spills stiffly from the tall cliff,

white and glacier blue.

We stand together,

happily admiring

Mother nature's art.

In this winter-scape,

his warm, gentle company

chases out the chill.

Today, I am glad

my adventure buddy is--

here with me to "be."

Adventures with the new chapter...

This chapter is fantastic!

Playing with the zoom button....

The new chapter and I have been going on a lot of really great adventures lately, and as a result we have taken a lot of pictures. On one particular adventure we were shooting pictures on the ice when he mentioned that using the zoom button can negatively affect the quality of a picture. At first I didn't think much of it, but as of late I'm beginning to think that he might have a point and that point isn't just about photography.

Last night when we were out on the town, I overheard several very odd conversations. I wasn't trying to listen in, but for some reason the conversations caught my ear and caused me to "zoom in" on them. As I listened, I couldn't help but smile. The conversations themselves were very ordinary and even a little odd, but when I "zoomed out" of those conversations I began to realize how the seemingly odd close-ups fit perfectly together to form a more beautiful and eclectic big picture, not all that unlike the picture Walt Whitman painted in "I hear America Singing."

Zooming in can sometimes make it hard to see the beauty of an independent situation, whereas keeping things "zoomed out" can sometimes help enhance and maintain its beauty because that situation no longer stands alone-- it becomes a part of the whole. Each close-up moment plays an important role in determining the beauty of the big picture as a whole. When we zoom out, we can better see the beauty in those strange close-up moments because we can understand the importance of their roles in the big picture.

Now don't get me wrong, there are moments when I love the close-up shots. They can sometimes capture and enhance those hidden details that play an important role in big picture. There can be ineffable beauty in those moments. At the same time, when it's hard to see the beauty in those hard, uncomfortable times, it can help to zoom out of them and remember that each closeup has its role-- whether it be a tiny or a large-- in the bigger, beautiful, and eclectic big picture. In essance, knowing when and how to zoom can really help keep things in perspective. It can help us find beauty in those moments that may not seem to have any.

I'm learning that it's important to know when to use the zoom button and when to let things be. From what I've observed about life and the attitudes around me so far, there is an art to knowing how and when to zoom. Mastering the art of the zoom button yields wise and mature perspective-- a perspective I can only hope to achieve one day.

The Challenge...

As I was driving to work the other day I saw the full moon setting and instinctively wrote a poem in my head.... this then became an inspiration for a challenge I issued my students, which ended up to be a really cool activity.

So I'll challenge you: In 2 minutes or less, write a poem that has a subject (it can be anything), make that subject do something, and give the whole thing some sort of setting. Then, if you're feeling really brave try to incorporate and/or play around with some elements of style (figurative language, sentence structure, sound devices, word choice, etc.).

Here's what I came up with... I can't wait to hear what you can do!

The silvery moon

silently slips through

the wispy, pre-dawn clouds.

Slipping

Silently,

Silently

Slipping,

below the western horizon.

With Freedom Comes Responsibility

I'm not sure who said it or where it came from, but I couldn't agree more: With freedom comes responsibility. As a teacher, I see the importance of teaching this lesson on a daily basis. Sure, we have the freedom to speak as we choose, think as we choose, expose ourselves to things of our choice, but with that freedom comes the responsibility to think about those things and respond when necessary. In other words, we have the responsibility to do the right thing when we notice something is wrong-- even if it's hard or uncomfortable. Of course, we then have to ask ourselves what is the right thing and who determines it. I am, however, a firm believer that teaching what is right and wrong falls on the community we grow up in-- our families, neighbors, friends, teachers, schools, etc.-- and when we fail to teach responsibility people get hurt and all hell breaks loose. Perhaps, that's why our nation is in its current state??

Now, more than ever, I understand the importance as a teacher to demand that my students take responsibility for themselves, their choices, and actions. Usually the lessons of responsibility I teach are small potatoes (dealing with missing work, getting to school on time, owning up to mistakes, etc.), but if I don't teach my students how to be responsible now, it could lead to something more serious in the future. I'll be honest, I'm a little overwhelmed by that responsibility, but I won't be able to sleep at night if I don't do my part.

Unfortunately, I have found myself in a situation where I am negatively affected by someone who didn't take responsibility for his/her actions. It's so hard for me to fight my anger against this person, to acknowledge it but not let it consume me. I'm also finding it hard to know what exactly I should do-- deciding which action is the responsible action. I am in a position where I could either walk away, do nothing, and quietly deal with the consequences of this person's actions. Or, I could take the risk of holding this person accountable for what happened and hope that in some way it might teach the importance of responsibility in the light of irresponsibility.

I am left to ponder. Do I walk the talk, or do I walk away? In the mean time, I guess I'll more conscientiously do my part to teach responsibility in my classroom--I just hope this is the lesson that sticks.