Solitude is a funny thing. When I didn't have it, I craved it, but now that I have it, I can't help but feel a little anxious. I used to be so good at doing things on my own (living alone in a barn out in the middle of nowhere forced me to be). I was even proud that I was so content being by myself-- after all, it's not always easy. But things seem to be different at the moment, and clearly Solitude and I are out of touch. I'm just not used to those empty moments that can creep in with Solitude. My friends and family have been fantastic at helping me ward off these moments, but there comes a point when it's just up to me. And it is at this point, my dear friends, when Emptiness sneaks in as Solitude's unwanted sidekick.
I've found that one of the best ways to chase away Emptiness is to stay busy, and I've been doing that. I've had cocktail connections, brownie bowl parties, pink pearl snap nights, and the like. The problem is, I'm getting a little weary around the edges. I want to relax and just be. I want to make friends with Solitude again, but I'm afraid Emptiness will sneak up on us. This fear is silly and irrational I know-- fear always is-- but it is what it is, and right now the thought of an unwanted visit from Emptiness is making me a little anxious.
But, as my grandmother said, "this too shall pass." It always does. I am just out of touch with Solitude and haven't had to single-handedly ward off Emptiness in a while. With a little patience, though, my angst will go away. Soon I'll be able to shake hands with Solitude, and together we'll send Emptiness packing. :)